Building Trust

Author: Brittany Thomas, Wiley Magnet Middle School

At Wiley, I’ve had the chance to start two kids on horn. One of the boys has challenged me. He never really agreed with anything I said. I would offer ways of working on things and he would disagree. I would suggest great ways of warming up and he would not believe they were helpful. He would continuously vocalize that he didn’t want to do as I said because it wasn’t something the teacher said and because maybe it didn’t make sense to him. 

This behavior occurred over the first semester I was serving. I think that his resistance was due in part to the fact that as a beginner he didn’t sound the way he wanted to sound and the exercises I showed him didn’t make him sound like a professional overnight. He didn’t trust me that they would help in the long run and wouldn’t believe that the horn takes a lot of time and patience. I also believe that since I saw him only once a week and wasn’t there every day like the band teacher, he had a hard time trusting me. 

By the second semester he was catching up faster and faster and things were becoming easier. I reinforced that he would see progress through the exercises if he continued to stay patient and positive. After things started clicking and working I noticed a complete shift. He was willing to do things I asked him to try and he also agreed with me when I asked, “do you notice how working on your harmonics lead to you being able to blow through this interval?” It was like magic. Overnight a kid who didn’t trust me at all began to trust me. I also learned a huge lesson. When going out into the community you cannot expect members of that community, including kids, to instantly trust you. Trust takes patience and a willingness to keep showing up and trying.

May 11, 2018